1. You would have loved the gift I didn’t bother getting you.
2. When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.
3. You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
4. Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
5. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
6. When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
7. Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
8. With age comes wisdom. You’re one of the wisest people I know.
9. The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.
10. I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
11. You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
12. You’re birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar.. Yung No Mo
13. I didn’t forget your birthday. I just forgot today’s date!
14. You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years of experience!
15. Birthdays are like boogers. The more you have the harder it is to breathe!
16. You may not be over the hill yet, but you have a great view!
17. Old enough to know better…Young enough to still do it.
18. Happiness is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. And that’s what you feel today. Happy Birthday.
19. I’m just here for the cake.
20. If you want to look young and thin on your birthday. Hang around a bunch of old fat people.
21. Just imagine the things you’d want to hear on your birthday and assume i said them. Happy B-Day
22. There are lots of good people in the world. One of them would like to wish you a happy birthday.
23. A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
24. Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.
25. Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, ‘Happy Birthday’
26. Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
27. Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty.
28. Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.
29. So far, this is the oldest I have ever been.
30. It has been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will kill you.